Traditions In A Tender Time

I remember when my daughter was a baby and holidays were approaching. I panicked as I said to my husband, We don’t have any holiday traditions! Our child needs traditions! I imagine a lot of young families find themselves in this space wanting to make things so special and memorable for our kids. As I think of this now more than 10 years later realize that partly what brought this up for me was the fact that I was reminiscing about my own childhood traditions- the way we did things and how it felt to be tied, in a beautiful way, to tender memories.

Holidays were special in my house growing up and I can say that my mother made it so. We had boxes and boxes of holiday decorations, tree decorating took hours, and my mom would stay up into the wee hours baking fudge (the only baking she ever did). My Grandma also made Christmas special with me getting to do so much baking alongside her and helping her decorate her small space was a joy for me. We would host the big Christmas Day gathering of my mom and dad's side of the family with Christmas Eve being for our immediate family. I would be performing in the church Christmas pageant leading up to Christmas and every Sunday there would be Advent and Christmas carols sung at church in an old timey way that was beautiful and reverent. I love reflecting on this especially as the first Christmas without my mom approaches. And even though I don’t carry on all of these traditions that are so meaningful to me.

Now that my daughter is 11 I can look back and see all the traditions that evolved early in her childhood. We found our ways of making this time of year special beginning with picking out the perfect tree the day after Christmas (except for her first Christmas because our house was the size of a shoebox and there was no room for a tree however the next year once we were in a new house we put up 2 trees to make up for that). If you noticed the photo I carelfully selected for this blog post, it is the last photo of my daughter and husband at the tree farm in 2016(I love it so much) We decorate our tree with a collection of ornaments that grow a bit each year- some of my childhood favorites get displayed among Jason and Gina’s first Christmas and Baby's First Christmas. We began making homemade decorations when my daughter was itty bitty that still adorn the mantle every year. We were given Elf on a Shelf when she was a baby and put our own spin on it. I am happy to say this tradition lasted until last year until she got wise to who was actually placing the elf each night. 

I wondered after my husband died almost 6 years ago how I would possibly keep up these traditions but I found that these traditions are what actually held us together, they still hold us together. There is meaning and memories and love that surround these traditions and they are Our traditions. 

It’s your turn!

Sit quietly and see if you can recall a special memory or two from this time of year. It does not have to be Holiday related but could be a favorite winter tradition you had as a child.

Is it something you still do? 

Have you shared this memory with someone close to you?

If you are the journaling type I encourage you to write about these memories.

Let me also say that I am well aware that this time of year is a struggle for many. The darkness can be really dark. I am feeling some of that this season and it hits me in waves. When I am in that space I feel through it. Writing this today was healing for me- focusing on some joy has helped ease missing those I love who are gone and when the darkness feels so heavy these memories bring some light. I hope you will find that is true for you. It is all a gentle practice, feeling and remembering.